swordlesbianism:

Some of you did not spend your childhoods making potions out of random leaves and berries and twigs and just throwing them all in a tub of water and stirring it with a big stick you found and it shows.

prideprejudce:

me to my cat: pleas stpo pushn every goddamnd thing off my desk im beggin pleas

my cat:

(Source: luteum)

fruiteatingwhore:

not to flex but i never saw la la land

captainantagonist:

readingontheroof:

from this post

INFJ: The Unpleasantness 
ESTP: Flirting headaches
INTJ: Night brain 
ESFP: Going outside at night in italy
INFP: Drawing-room anguish 
ESTJ: Sherry served too cold
INTP: Too many novels
ESFJ: Shawl insufficiency 
ISFJ: Spent more than a month in London after growing up in Yorkshire
ENTP: Parents too happy
ISTJ: General bummers
ENFP: Haven’t seen the sea in a long time
ISFP: Garden troubles
ENTJ: Spinal degeneration as a result of pride
ISTP: Not enough pillows
ENFJ: Someone said “No” very loudly while they were in the room

“Spinal degeneration as a result of pride” legit sounds like something I would indeed die from.

showerthoughtsofficial:

A vampire chasing you into a carnival house of mirrors is the scene horror movies are missing.

(Source: reddit.com)

thefiresontheheight:

Inspired by a true incident.

jehovahhthickness:

pyrlspite:

tumblr is like wading through everyone else’s garbage until you find something good and go “ah. this is good” and take it and display it in your own garbage pile

turing-tested:

opening a cold can of coke and guzzling at such high speeds that you struggle to breathe is right up there with climbing stairs on all fours when it comes to animalistic urges